i'm so glad that i stayed in last night. i've done that a lot in the last week and have discovered that i needed it to recharge. i'm finally feeling like i am being me again. i had a little bit of a panic attack when i went to talk with a group of my sister's friends on tuesday night. i walked up and a few people turned to say hi to me and one of her friend's talked with me for a minute or so. then they all just went back to their own conversations. i felt really uncomfortable. my first instinct was to talk and force my way into the conversation so that i could feel included. but then i just walked away to talk with other people. my stomach was knotted and i felt uncomfortable for a while. but then it finally started to go away. yeah!!! i got through it. now that i have had a few days to recharge and find myself again. i am feeling more relaxed and happy. definitely need to remember to do this more often.

so i took care of kt's pets last night. really interesting. the cat, bird, and hampster are fine. the dog is good enough but he barks too much for me. he slept with me last night. it's a good thing that i am used to having a really big cat push me out of the bed so it wasn't so bad that the dog did the same thing. hopefully he will be fine until i get home tonight. he will be there alone for 14 hours. i will definitely take him on a long walk when i get home.