i was so proud of how i handled my mom this past weekend. the best example is when we were all out at the bar watching the cubs game......i noticed that i was clenching my jaw so i started doing some of the relaxation exercises that hln taught me. well mom picked up on it and wanted to know what i was doing. i told her. and the first thing that she wanted to know was whether she was causing me to be stressed. i explained to her that i am stressed 24 hours a day 7 days a week. and that it wasn't her. i told her how i clench my jaw all the time and that it causes me to be tense. she then again asked if she was doing this to me. i explained again that it wasn't her. julie was even trying to tell mom that it wasn't her. then a third time she asks. by now it is becoming her that is causing my tension....so i tell her that. she latches on to this comment and starts talking about how it's all her that is causing me stress.....i now realize that i have 2 options. i can scream at her because she has made me completely anxious and stressed or i can jokingly grab her and laughingly tell her that she's right it's always been just her. this got everyone laughing because they were all expecting me to explode at my mom. so i was able to diffuse the situation that was building inside of me and calm my mom down all at the same time. this is a first. julie was pretty amazed.