I don’t even know where to start. Let’s just say that this week has been one of the most trying and wonderful times of my life.

Let’s start with the trying part…i had my review last week Wednesday…. it did not go well. I kind of expected that but it was still a blow to me. In a way it has made me put my career in perspective. I found out that I have been really going down hill over the last few years at my current job. I know that I haven’t been happy here in a while and apparently that is showing in my work. I’m not careful enough when I do my work and make silly mistakes. I also rely on others too much instead of trusting my instincts and believing in my own abilities.

I have also realized that a big part of the reason that I don’t believe in myself enough is that I have gone though 5 bosses in 6 years at my current company. I have spent a lot of time worrying about how to show each new boss what my abilities are. Instead I should have just done my job the best way I knew how and not worried about what they might think. I feel like I am starting over each time I get moved around.

One issue that I do have with my new boss…he doesn’t tell me what he is thinking. A lot of the issues that came up in my review could have been discussed during the last 4 months that I have been working for him. Maybe I should have known what he thought but then again I am not a mind reader.

In the end…I ended up with the worst headache of my life. As I was taking the train home, I wondered if I would make it. Somehow I managed to get though it. Not sure how….when I got home, I tried to sleep for a while. But that just made my head hurt worse. Finally, I got up and took some aspirin. After a half an hour, that still didn’t make any difference. So I called Ben to come over and help me out. After I got off the phone with him, I call my doctor’s office. I had them page her at 9pm. I told her that this was the worst headache I have ever had. She told me to go to the emergency room. So that is where Ben and I went from 9pm-2am on Wednesday evening. I ended up having a CAT scan done. That thankfully came back negative. Then I had a spinal tap done. Again this came back negative. So after all that testing it turns out that I had a stress headache that became a very bad sinus headache.

I ended up taking that Thursday off to recover and sleep. I had Friday off for a vacation day anyway. So I ended up with a 5-day weekend. I am still having major problems with stress/sinus headaches and have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to see if she has anything better to give me than over the counter meds.

Now comes the wonderful part of the weekend…. Ben moved in on Saturday!!! Thankfully, we had movers. So far things are working out. There is still a lot of unpacking to do. Mostly we are just trying to get things put away. After that, we will go back though room by room to reorganize everything so that it makes more sense.

Now if I could just get rid of these headaches, I could feel like a whole person again. One thing that would help would be to get a new job. I may have a line on something new for me….wish me luck.